


All In On Coming Out

by JustSmileStuffHappens (ksz13)



Series: Buddie / 9-1-1 Prompt Fills [32]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Closeted, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Hiding, Hiding in Plain Sight, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Secret Relationship, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:35:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23559952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksz13/pseuds/JustSmileStuffHappens
Summary: Buck and Eddie have been together for a few months and so far it’s been kept quiet. But when Eddie’s family comes to visit, Buck thinks this will be a good time for them to tell everyone. But Eddie doesn’t agree and actually tells Buck to stay at his apartment the entire time his family is visiting. Buck feels like Eddie is ashamed of him and when he tries to talk to Eddie , Eddie blows him off, Buck is fed up and ends things and avoids Eddie as much as he can. Buck doesn’t want to be a secret - anonymous
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Buddie / 9-1-1 Prompt Fills [32]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1582147
Comments: 4
Kudos: 383





	All In On Coming Out

**Author's Note:**

> I also combined this with another prompt from @Chrrlees and had help with ideas from @cherishingstydia I'll add their prompt in here once I find it again.
> 
> https://chrrlees.tumblr.com/post/190802861406/open-and-proud

_**All In On Coming Out** _

Eddie was practically dry humping Bucks leg as he attacked his neck. 

Things were good, more than good they were great. After finally getting around to talking they'd been like this, even closer than before but in a different way.

It wasn't all that different really besides the sex, actually knowing what the other felt, and feeling alive and happy in a way that was different than anything else before now.

"Eds if you keep this up I'll gonna have to lie about where I got hickeys." Buck laughed while rubbing his hands up Eddie's back under his shirt.

"Shh. We've got just enough time for a quickie. The others aren't do for another hour." Eddie got to work on Buck's pants.

"Yes, sir." Buck grinned as Eddie stuck his hand in his pants gripping him over his briefs.

"I like when you say that."

"I'll do it more often th-"

A knock at Buck's door froze them as they looked in each other's eyes.

"Quickie my ass." Buck frowned.

"That's the first time you've complained about sex Buck." Eddie shot back putting his shirt back on.

"Because you're good, anything with you is good, I'll get the door." Buck winked then sighed.

With that the heat of their desire slowly died down but still flickered. 

Buck welcomed in Maddie and Chimney who had brought food. At least he'd be full with something tonight then.

* * *

Buck was starting to get tired of this running around. It could feel exhausting at times. Almost as bad as when they were still idiots keeping their feelings hidden.

"Hey Eddie. Not that I'm saying we have to now but do you see us being an us, like in public, anytime soon? I mean, it was hot at first, I'll admit all the sneaking around, but now it's starting to lose its charm." Buck asked while Eddie's was driving them in to work.

He bit his lip as Eddie kept his eyes on the road as a responsible driver. Maybe now wasn't the time to talk about this but Buck already started.

"I don't know. Can I see us being together in public? Sure. When do I think I'll be ready? I can't tell you for sure. I'm still trying to get used to the fact that I'm bisexual. I'm sorry Buck."

"No. It's okay. I was just thinking out loud. Take your time, but I'm ready and here to support you whenever you want to and you're ready, no pressure, alright." Buck reached to hold Eddie's hand. 

The car was still an okay place. A safe place. No one really saw in because it was pretty high but still Buck wouldn't kiss Eddie unless it was dark at night and few other cars were around them.

"I'm trying. I- I love you. I know that but- I'll know when I'm ready right? How did you know?" Eddie asked, looking at Buck at a red light.

"I kinda knew I wanted to yeah but I was outed by accident so it's different. I get it Eddie. But people have to accept you for you and if they don't then they don't deserve you." Buck said before the light changed green.

Eddie pulled into the firehouse parking lot and they started their shift.

* * *

24 hour shifts were horrible now. It was a tradeoff Buck withstood. He could barely sneak a kiss or hold Eddie's hand for a bit when the others were tired and sleeping or they were relaxing in the common area separate from them.

But there was little buck wouldn't be able to put up with, or couldn't be able to put up with for the people he loved and cared about.

It wasn't like they'd actually have sex or make out here anyways, it was work, but still these little touches here and there were more than welcome if and when buck could get them.

"Buck, Eddie, we're up. Hen and Chim are on another scene, let's move out." Bobby told them as they got off the couch where Eddie's arm was over buck's shoulder while they watched TV.

* * *

The others at the station knew about buck being pan the same as they knew hen was a lesbian. It was a thing for all of a minute before it wasn't and they moved on.

Hen was understanding and could have known but Buck guessed she'd waited for him to mention it.

Bobby seemed to have put a few pieces together but didn't have the whole picture.

As for Chimney he was surprised but supportive. All in all the ones that mattered most had accepted him.

But with Eddie buck had jumped around picking up on hints and dropping his own, never quite sure. That is until he finally worked up telling Eddie when he was nonchalant about being hit on by a guy. 

It was soon after he told Eddie everything from what he identified as and then later on how he felt about him. 

Eddie got onto the truck pulling buck from his thoughts as he looked up from his phone.

"What's wrong?" Buck asked. Eddie's lips were drawn tight and he looked like he was thinking hard.

"My parents are coming over."

"To visit. Cool. I can meet them when it's just us. Get to know them and let them know me." Buck smiled. 

"I don't think that'd be a good idea."

"Huh?" Buck tilted his head.

"I- could I ask you to stay at yours? I mean, the house will be full and they don't know yet." Eddie looked uncomfortable asking.

"And you don't want them to know, about us, about me." Buck whispered. 

"No. I do but I don't. I just, what if they don't take it well or how we are changes after I come out with us being together." Eddie asked.

"It's up to you. I'd hope they would accept you because they love you, but, that's not guaranteed. It's a risk that you might have to take though. It could be bad but it could also be good,"

Buck was silent the rest of the drive. After they got to Eddie's they began explaining to Christopher that Buck was going to give his spare room to Eddie's parents but then he asked why Buck couldn't stay with Eddie in his room then.

"Umm. Well buddy see, buck and me aren't married yet so your grandma and abuelo might not like that." Eddie half lied. He was more worried about buck being a guy than their opinion on premarital sex let alone sharing a bed but you don't say that to your kid. After all that's how Christopher was born, they were young and in love.

"Oh. So it's like a secret, that you're in love. Like a fairy tale in a book?" Christopher asked.

"Kinda like that superman. But don't worry, I'll still swing by to visit you when I can and I love you two okay." Buck tried to help smooth things over.

"Okay. But will you still read me bedtime stories though?" Christopher asked.

"I'll- yeah. If I can't come over I'll video call though okay. I still have a few books at my old place to read to you." Buck smiled while sitting on the floor opposite Christopher to play with his legos. 

Buck thought it would be a good time for Eddie to tell his parents and the others but that was two different steps and could be entirely different reactions so he wouldn't push.

* * *

Buck was fixing up some things in his old apartment. While it wasn't a wreck there were things to clean. He was taking a break and looking at pictures of Helena eating sweets with Christopher as Ramon pretended to be disappointed that must have been taken by Eddie. 

They looked cute. It hurt that Eddie expected him to stay over here for these few days. Either buck waited it out or Eddie had to come clean about their relationship. 

Buck: I love you no matter what.

He saw that Eddie read it but didn't reply until much later on that evening.

Eddie: I love you too Buck.

Christopher called for his bedtime story as the ache in Buck's chest subsided for a bit. 

"Good night buddy. Night Eddie. Talk to you tomorrow ok." Buck said while Christopher yawned.

Chris had refused Helena or Ramon reading to him. They assumed Eddie read to him in his room when in actuality he called Buck and got to listen as he read to Christopher. 

"Hey buck before you go I gotta tell you something." Eddie whispered.

Buck's hopes soared as he thought of what it might be about.

"I'm still awake. Go ahead."

Eddie moved to his room after leaving Christopher's door cracked. 

"I love you babe." Eddie whispered. "Thank you for being so understanding. Good night Buck."

Buck withheld his disappointment. "Sure Eddie. Anything for you. It's getting late, good night Eds." Buck hung up shortly after and let small tears roll out as he laid down.

* * *

Buck had a bad dream that night. Eddie kept walking as Buck could barely keep up and acted like he couldn't hear him. He woke after the scene shifted to Eddie holding him and crying saying he was so sorry, he should have told him sooner.

It left buck more confused than upset but clung to his mind.

He couldn't even call to tell Eddie yet because he'd be busy with Christopher and his parents in the morning. 

"I sleep better with Eddie. That's all it was, nothing else," Buck tried convincing himself.

"You okay buddy?" Chim asked while he walked into the locker room.

"Yeah. Didn't get much sleep." Buck yawned.

"So your eyes are telling us. Well, if you need to talk you know where to find me." Hen patted his shoulder as they went upstairs for breakfast.

Eddie greeted Buck warmly as he stepped upstairs.

"Hey Buck. Did you sleep okay?" He asked while coming over seeing Buck's face. 

"I couldn't find my giant body pillow. Seems I misplaced it. But I'm good now. So, are your parents okay?" Buck asked.

"They're gonna visit Abuela's until tonight, they'll be back late and Christopher's with them. I could come over to yours for a bit after work if you're up to it." Eddie asked, more offered.

"Yeah. One night without you and I'm already having Diaz withdrawals." Buck chuckled.

"Can't let that happen now can we." Eddie winked as they went over to the table.

Bobby piled on an extra serving having heard about buck's rough morning from the others. 

* * *

Things were okay until a call went south. 

An older couple was stuck in their car pinned by a fallen tree they'd hit.

They were arguing as the crew got to the scene to help them out.

"Our first year married and it's been a wreck." One of the women said.

"This isn't my fault." The other replied.

"I'll tell you what is. You waiting a lifetime to finally marry me. We don't have much time left Angie."

"Well Tanya, I didn't know what I felt. Maybe we shouldn't be married then." 

The crew was already working to move the fallen tree blocking their exit from the vehicle.

"Ma'ams don't worry, we're gonna get you out. Just hold on, this stuff happens a lot. It's no one's fault." Buck comforted them as Hen and Chim checked their vitals.

Eddie was working the saw with Bobby observing.

"I've had enough of waiting. I waited thirty years for her to tell me she loved me and what do I get, being stuck here. This was our first trip away from home," Tanya said.

"Eddie's almost ready to move the trunk parts, Buck come back him up. Ladies you'll be out in no time." Bobby said. 

True to his word in under 5 minutes they were free and in the back of the ambulance as Angie had a concussion.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to fight anymore. I love you," Tanya said while they closed the doors.

Buck saw Hen's expression of worrying about her and Karen possibly ending up like that, an old bickering couple, but he knew they wouldn't because their relationship was strong.

As for him and Eddie, he had to admit he did feel some resentment for Eddie not telling anyone they were together but he also still felt conflicted because he knew Eddie needed time to feel comfortable.

They were wrapping up their shift in the parking lot of the station when he stopped Eddie.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"I- I think maybe we should take a break. Like nothing serious but just until your parents are gone. I don't want to accidentally out you like I was and it'll feel easier this way because I'm trying to be patient but it's hard and I don't want either of us to feel hurt, which I kinda do right now." Buck said quietly between their vehicles. 

"I- I didn't know. I'm sorry. But, okay. I'm still trying to see where I would even start with explaining it to them." Eddie said.

"Well for me I was gonna try an analogy for something my dad liked but that went out the window with my crush who jumped out of it to avoid my dad after he saw us kissing." Buck's laugh was hollow.

"I'll think about it. And I'll try but you know I can't promise anything yet buck." Eddie said, moving closer to hug buck.

Hugs were okay, friends did that.

"That's all I can ask for. If you need me for anything though, I'm here, you know where to find me. Work up to it, try feeling them out if you can, or even just mention I'm pan if you have to, but I don't know, it's up to you to decide that part." Buck squeezed Eddie a little tighter before pulling away.

Eddie kissed him in the growing darkness before they separated for their cars.

* * *

It was up to Eddie now. He had to decide and finally do something if he felt like he had an opportunity.

Christopher was doing homework after dinner as they cleaned up.

Buck would read another bedtime story later.

"That Buck boy hasn't been over since we came. Don't we see those pictures of him visiting every few days? You two are still friends right?" Ramon asked while drinking his coffee.

"Yeah. We're still close. He's just been giving us space to catch up. He knows how important a relationship with your parents can be." Eddie offered.

"How are his parents?" Helena asked, handing Eddie the next dish to dry.

"He doesn't talk about them too much. I think they don't keep in touch, but that's okay because he has us at the station and Maddie, his sister."

"Why's that? Boys got a good heart, who'd miss the chance to talk to him?" Ramon asked, taking a bite of pan dulce. 

"I'm not sure about his mom but his dad didn't like the fact he was pansexual. They had a falling out because of it."

"Well, I can see that but still-. I mean it'd take me by surprise if you or your sisters had turned out like that." Ramon said.

"Ray!" Helena chided him. 

"It's the truth. We might not have our angelito if Eddie hadn't gotten with Shannon." Ramon said.

"Gay people can adopt Ramon. And other people can have their children for them too the same as straight people." She shook her head.

"Buck can still have kids and I know he'd be a great dad, I've seen him with Christopher and other kids. He's a good man dad. Anyone would be lucky to be with him. I'm proud to call him a close friend. He's reliable and he cares about everyone regardless of who they are." Eddie said more truth behind those words than they knew. 

"Ha. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were fond of him yourself mijo." Ramon laughed.

"Dad, remember when I was younger and you taught me to pitch right handed instead of with my left like I'd be trying to do?"

"Sí. And you won your championship game that year. You were so athletic mijo." He smiled at the memory.

"Yeah. But I could still pitch left if I needed to surprise the batter. That's how I helped us win dad." Eddie explained. 

"What I remember most was us cheering your name Eddie." He yawned. "God, I beat mijo. I'm gonna go kiss Christopher good night and take a shower. See you in the morning." 

"Mhm. Night papá." Eddie nodded. The conversation was over. 

"That's a nice sweater you have on tonight mijo. Is it new?" Helena asked while drying her hands and the sink top.

"Nah mamá. It's comfortable though. I like it," Eddie said while going to call buck and let him read or wish Christopher good night, if he was too tired Eddie could take over for tonight's story.

* * *

Buck was tired. Staying up to read Christopher a bedtime story kicked his ass which was already beat from working after not getting much sleep the day before. 

It was another bad night with little sleep but no nightmare. He just kept waking up tossing and turning. The bed didn't feel right, he didn't feel right, not without Eddie beside him and Christopher within reach in case of an emergency.

Buck came in with a fake pep in his step. "Morning everyone." His cheerful tone earned groans. "Y'all ok?"

"Our baby was more fussy than usual. I stayed up to help Karen." Hen yawned. 

"My neighbor decided to blast music all night. They ignored my complaints and the cops refused to come because a noise complaint wasn't urgent with units busy." Chim lolled beside her on the couch.

"Christopher talked me into two mor- stories. And mom woke up early to surprise me with breakfast but I heard hear and I couldn't go back to sleep after I woke up to that." Eddie smiled tiredly.

"Wow and I thought I slept bad." Buck said, guessing he felt better than them at least because he was used to running on less sleep.

"Up and at 'em. This here will wake you guys up and it's good for you. Plus it tastes great." Bobby brought over cups.

"Ugh. This stinks Bobby." Hen said.

"That's because while it tastes good, it doesn't smell good. Hold your nose while you swallow it down. It's like a miracle in a cup. Saved my ass a few times." Buck smiled at the others questioning faces. "What?" He shrugged.

"Thank you for that review Buck. I'll remember that when I offer it to Athena, the kids, and Micheal." Bobby laughed while sniffing one. "Hmm. Maybe I did add a little too much."

Soon after they were revitalized they got a call for a man stuck in his ceiling. 

When they returned to the firehouse they had guests once more.

"Helena, Ramon. It's nice to see you both again." Bobby greeted them while the others finished putting away their tools and restocking equipment.

"Hello Bobby. We won't be long, we just came to say goodbye and give you something." Ramon said while Helena looked at their son working shoulder to shoulder with his best friend.

"Oh. Well it's a shame you can't stay longer. But I'm sure they share my sentiment of wishing you safe travels. Know that we'll take good care of Eddie, he's one of our own." Bobby shook his hand.

"You cook for the others often, correct?" Helena asked.

"Yes I do." Bobby nodded.

"Well I have a few recipes that you might like. That and I brought something small for you all to eat in case you were in a hurry with your work today." Helena motioned with her hand upstairs where they'd been guided by the woman at the firehouse today.

"I'm sure they'd love to try it while I make some lunch."

"Mom, dad." Eddie came over to kiss his mom and shake his dad's hand. 

"We won't be long. I know I said you should come back before but thinking about it you've really made a place for yourself and Christopher here." Ramon said nodding.

"We know that while this job is dangerous, you're good at it and helping others, and these people, your other family, will do their best to help keep an eye on you the same as you'd do for them." Helena said, hugging Eddie then going over to Buck. 

"I can't thank you enough for what I've heard from everyone, especially our little Christopher. Please continue to look out for our boys. I know you already do but know that we're so grateful they have you." She told Buck with a smile before going to wish the others farewell.

Buck could barely get out his own words of "I- I will, I promise". 

It had really struck Buck who stood still as Helena and Ramon moved on to speak with the others.

He stared on with a slight smile. It took a second for him to become aware of the familiar presence beside him.

Eddie took Buck's hand drawing his attention. 

"Eddie. The others. Are you su-?" Buck panicked. 

"I heard some of what my mom said. She's right. I'm holding the hand of the man I love in front of most of my family, both of them." Eddie brought Buck's hand up to kiss it like he'd seen his father do to his mother's dozens of times. 

Hen and Chim were the first to notice due to where they were facing. 

Next was Helena followed by Bobby before finally Ramon.

Helena silently nodded with tears and a smile. 

Ramon walked over. 

Eddie's grip on Buck's hand grew stronger and more firm but it didn't hurt.

"How blind was I?" Ramon laughed. "Anyone would be lucky to have him. I pitch both ways. Eddie, I'm not as bright as you mijo." Ramon put his hand on his son's shoulder.

"I love him." Eddie stated solidly, looking his dad in the eyes.

"And you'd do anything for love." Ramon closed his eyes. "Please look out for our son. He can be very hard on himself Buck. I think I had a part in that." He smiled.

"Trust me. I'll try sir." Buck nodded.

The entire time Eddie didn't let go and Buck was thankful for it all.

"Why aren't you more surprised mamá?" Eddie asked.

"That sweater wasn't yours. It fit a little loose even on you. Then later I remembered seeing it on Buck in those photos around Christmas. And I will always love you Eddie, just as I know you will always love Christopher," She touched Eddie's face.

"You two aren't as good at secrets as you like to think. I saw you kiss outside the station." Bobby admits.

Buck whirled around to look at him shocked at what he just heard. 

"There's paperwork but it's more of an unofficial formality so long as you two don't pose too much of a conflict of interest in the field or a distraction in the firehouse." Bobby came over to pat Buck's shoulder then did the same to Eddie's too. "I had a feeling. A couple actually, I know you make each other happy."

"Well. I think my treats will be perfect for celebrating." Helena motioned upstairs for Bobby to help her serve some and to pass on the recipe for it also.

"This turned out better than I expected." Eddie said. "Now let me officially introduce you as my boyfriend to everyone." He smirked, pulling him over towards the others. 

"I'd never say no to that." Buck grinned as they followed the others upstairs. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> The usual spiel about being sorry this is late but I'm putting these out as soon as I can though
> 
> Also hope y'all liked this amalgamation of prompts yo


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